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Cattle make daring bid for freedom

Sometime early this morning our Highland Cattle – mum Esme and calf Theo – broke out of Orchid Meadows to seek their fortune or perhaps join a circus somewhere. The escape was carefully planned and involved Esme literally eating the strong nylon string securing the gate to their field, Western Rhos.

They then transcended the minefield that is our bog area. It’s a case of one false hoof and you get stuck but they trod carefully and made it to the far side, which forms the boundary of Orchid Meadows.

From there, they travelled west, up the long slope of our neighbour’s pasture to the top of the hill and down the other side. After about half a mile, however, all thoughts of reaching the bright lights of the big city or the big top seemed to have left them and they got absorbed in eating our neighbour’s grass, which is better than ours.

Guards at Orchid Meadows discovered the break-out and, following the trail of hoof prints and cowpats, located the escapees at around noon. Then, the big question: how to reason with them and get them to give themselves up and return home?

Traditional methods are always the best and the bovine version of the carrot and stick method was chosen. This is shown in the picture and involved some cattle nuts – the cow equivalent of a big bag of crisps – and a piece of plastic piping able to give a short sharp shock to the buttocks.

And it worked! Esme and Theo are now back, not quite under lock and key but definitely thicker rope and a sturdy reef knot. So, is escape now impossible? Pull the udder one – they’ll get out again!

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